Thursday 3 November 2011

Harmony. Really??


I was humiliated. I was belittled. Underestimated. Discriminated. Yes. I remain calm to avoid any disputes. But one has a limit to this. There was an incidence, a few days ago that someone tried to interfere with my work and I'd have enough that I actually spoke to the Big Guy of my uncomfortable ordeal with that someone or should i name her Ebola virus? yeah, the name can be think later, but I would want to highlight on the events that has happened to me this week which has made me feel angry that I wanted to shout. Well, I ended up crying to myself after the Research Progress meeting.

Owh, about my session with the Big Guy. I didnt really complained about Miss Ebola, just saying that I am not comfortable to have her as my collaborator that she did not give any contribution in completing my work. Big Guy was somehow agree with me at first and thought maybe Miss Ebola meant for other projects. He hesitated when i mentioned its my work that she wanted her way in. Then he said that sometimes we have to make the best decision but not the right one and the decision may not make you happy. But you've just gotta live in wisdom, trying to retain harmony. I was taken aback, not very happy but only to accept his advise, well, i totally understood knowing Miss Ebola's annoying attitude, all those whining, shrieking and pitching, yeah, totally understood that the Big Guy do not wish to encounter any dispute. He said, let her do some major works, in terms of editing and writing. He was at first asking what was her role in my project, and she doesnt help on analysis or anything... harmony...

I almost hate the word harmony. Today, two students presented their proposals, and whalla, as expected, my name wasnt there. I would love to think the fact that I am not allowed to supervise (Not my LEVEL), and they are presenting proposals, but I just wonder whether my name will eventually be on the publications? Knowing Miss Ebola, I am 98.9% sure that she will purposely exclude out my name. So, here I am thinking again, should I be the one to retain harmony when people around are destructing harmony??

I pray to Allah to give me guidance, strength and patience.

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